Ben Gilman

Missing ‘life events’ from Facebook Timeline

A few weeks back Facebook unveiled their Timeline feature – a new way to tell your friends (and possibly everyone else) every fine detail of your life. I laughed to myself as I tapped in the details of the time I broke my toe trying to kick a rolled up pair of socks. Dutifully Facebook slotted this momentous event into my Timeline for all to see. But a further exploration of the ‘life event’ options left me disappointed in the lack of opportunities for real over-sharing. What follows are my suggestions for some life events that Facebook have unwittingly omitted from their feature list – the fools.

Prison time

Facebook Timeline encourages you to record holidays, military service or studying overseas. But hey Facebook, what’s with there being no option for a stay at Her Majesty’s pleasure?

A new diagnosis

Understandably, Facebook does give you the option to record overcoming an illness. But they’ve missed a trick, reporting your recent diagnosis (with an accurate date stamp) on your Timeline would also avoid having to make any awkward phonecalls.

Toilet breaks

Facebook Timeline is all about telling your life story, but just like Star Trek a big part of all of our everyday lives is omitted. Hidden away like it doesn’t happen. This could be easily rectified to the joy of many a Facebook user.

TV appearance

In many ways I think this is a pretty fair point. We’d all like to report to our friends about our five minutes of fame. Of course, you know full well all you’d see is this sort of thing.

Marching orders

Facebook is awash with people reporting their new jobs but surprisingly lacking reports of job exits. This could be easily rectified and include some handy details for future employers.

Alcohol-induced black outs

Another public service opportunity missed by the Facebook developers. As you awake bleary-eyed with the early onset of a biblical hangover you realise you’ve been relieved of part of your memory. Tap in a few details to Facebook timeline and your friends would happily fill you in on every detail, quite possibly with photos too. Handy!

So there we are Facebookers, you can have these ideas free of charge. Just keep an eye on your privacy settings eh?

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